Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Cringe




It seems to me that alcohol never mixes well with anything except more alcohol. Alcohol and driving, alcohol and walking (bush-diving anyone?) and, of course, alcohol and hooking up. Also known as “putting on your beer-goggles.” To be perfectly frank, everyone knows that drinking and hooking up leads to deep regret the morning after. Firstly when we face our friends whom either greet us with smiles and taunts or laugh in our faces for weeks after. Secondly, to add insult to serious injury, you have to face that person sooner or later on our conveniently small campus. It can go either two ways. One: you both look at the ground and pick up your pace after exchanging pinched smiles. Two: you greet each other and exchange minute talk (a smaller version of small talk), cut your losses and vaguely wave whenever you walk past one another for the next four years. It doesn’t help that every time you look at that person you imagine your drunken ramblings together about “deep” issues concerning life and the crazy dancing that makes you cringe so much your friends ask if you have just had a stroke. It seems drinking and hooking up is not a good life choice. However, if you do choose to go down that road be prepared for the aftermath.

Labels: , , ,

Posted by opinionplease at 11:47 AM

Don't Be An Amoeba


A girl in my English tut called Samuel Beckett, the author of Waiting For Godot, “the most successful serial killer ever.” This was because she found the book extremely depressing. For those that don’t do English 1, Godot is about two tramps who wait by a tree for the said Godot who never arrives. It is supposed to be, according to Professor Sue Marais, a comment on the meaningless of man’s existence. By now, you must be totally in agreement with the girl in my tut. The point I want to make is that our existence is not meaningless at all. We could have been born tiny amoebas on the planet Zortex twenty million galaxies from here. It is actually more probable considering physicist Stephen Hawking has proven that we live on a very average star. Science aside, I think that one needs to find their niche in life because even if you don’t believe that you have one, you do. Life has meaning everywhere if you just look a little closer and appreciate your place in the world. I’m not saying you have to be a maniacally happy sunshine twin but take time to celebrate your life and its meaning. George Bernard Shaw (and I am very sorry I am quoting so many dead old guys) said on his deathbed that he wished we were kinder to each other. I think that by being kind to yourself, you can be kind to others. Tomorrow’s Wednesday so go out with your friends, have fun and appreciate your life and everything in it.

Labels: , , , ,

Posted by opinionplease at 11:43 AM

May Contain Nuts



People back home told me university would be a melting pot of people, which seemed to be a really disturbing image to me, but I got the gist of their point. The thing is, you never know which crayons here are the warped ones or the normal ones in the box. The other night, I met a seemingly charming person who looked normal. He had hair, eyes, a nose and all his limbs functioned. It was a shame he had verbal diarrhea. He told me all about his farm as if I knew exactly what road in Mpumalanga it was on and when he found out I could not, he verbally constructed a map down to the fifty orange trees along his road. Five beers later, I made my hasty escape to find normalcy. One other such person loves to tell me every thought that pops into their head, especially if it is an insult about me. After hearing how your hair looks crap and your stocking has a ladder for three days, I snapped and told this Captain Obvious to shut up and walk away before he became a lampshade. I suppose I should have patience with the slightly squished cupcakes of the world because God knows I am not without weirdness. Truly I can learn to love the strangeness. Like my one friend who is afraid of cheese and chocolate mousse. She is an amazing munchkin even though she is odd. The melting pot that is Rhodes has its oddballs and we don’t always get along but what’s life without a little nuts? It just makes the chocolate taste better.

Labels: , , , ,

Posted by opinionplease at 10:56 AM

77 times seems too many but I can't help myself.

Yes, I'm talking about forgiveness. How many times is too much? When do you just decide that the person is not worth being a friend and that you deserve better? Well I'm really struggling with this question. I mean as if getting stood up seven times hasn't taught me anything; I still feel obliged to say yes every time the mature student invites himself to coffee. I wanted to be friends, yes, my friends come for coffee, yes. So it seems that according to my invisible list of rules regarding my time and behaviour towards my friends that I am on track. However, he hasn't shown once. And I only get the email apologising the following day. It's so funny how you can spot relationships that aren't worth it when you are watching from the sides but when it comes to your own personal relationships, one can just never see it. Oh, and the best part of all this is that then when things really fall apart your true friends and family always seem to say, "We tried to warn you". Do we just not see it because we don't want to or do people really not warn us? I mean I know I love dispensing advice to friends when I think that their relationships are firmly on the road to the cliff at the end of the road. Why does no one ever stop me sooner?

Labels: , ,

Posted by Tough LOve at 10:44 AM

Awkward Turtle




Ever since I came to this little bump-in-the-road town, I have had my fair share of awkward moments as you read in my previous blog. Call me crazy but I believe that I was born with awkward gene. I can feel it laughing its little ganglion bum off at me every time I put my foot in my mouth. It’s a sadistic organism, I know. I know you are probably calling Fort England right now to get your money for handing in an insane person and doing the community justice but I have proof. I always seem to get myself into the thick of awkwardness. One day, I was standing in the drama department and a friend told me he knew this girl called Stacey and she was there standing by the door. I thought I also knew Stacey and he was convinced I did not. So, already conceding victory on my part, I walked over to Stacey and said: “Hey, Stacey!” It was not Stacey. It was Jenny and the girl who actually was Stacey was standing next to Jenny. I really had no clue who Stacey was and had been calling Jenny the wrong name for six months. Needless to say, my friends thought I was a complete ass and Jenny and Stacey thought I was a complete lunatic that went to desperate measures to make friends. It didn’t help that Jenny was in my English tut and now keeps her distance as if I were a rabid rhino ready to gore her. Oh yes, the awkward gene had an aneurism of ecstasy at my expense that day.

Labels: , ,

Posted by opinionplease at 8:06 AM

I’ve never sought to purposely offend anyone. And if ever I do so, it would not be deliberate. I’m not a saint but I prefer to get on amiably with people. It makes life so much easier. But at times, one can’t avoid upsetting people.
Yesterday I was in a Journalism lecture and a certain blog post was read for us. The blogger had dwelt on the issue of conforming to university life and mentioned something about changing one’s way of speaking. Which got me thinking. You see, I was educated at a semi- private school and my English is quite good. As my posts can testify. No, it’s not due to using a spell check. Truly. Now, my tone of speaking is another matter. I’ve realised that most people speak in certain way. I’m not sure how top describe it. I would say, through their nose, with a certain twang. Like the way they speak in American movies.
For Caucasians, I get it. That is the way they naturally speak. At least if they are English. And for many blacks, I get it too. That is probably the way they were taught to speak in private schools. Though God knows why. Not that the way they speak is bad. I’m really concerned about some of my peers who, before they came to Rhodes, spoke in a different way. I know of a girl who went to the same school as I. When I heard her speak to some peers the other day, I was shocked. If I hadn’t seen her face, I wouldn’t have believed it was her. She sounded as if she was speaking through her nose. And I don’t remember her speaking like that during our school days.
My point is, though it’s good to conform , sometimes we overdo it. I personally wouldn’t be caugtht dead speaking the kind of English that seems to come out through my nose. I mean, I don’t expect a Frenchman to sound like an Englishmen, umXhosa to sound like a Shona person and so on. The differences in the way we speak is another part of our diversity. I really have to give something to the Nigerians. They speak English in their own way. Love them or hate them, it is part of their identity. I’m not saying that anyone should not sound like anyone in particular or anything like that, but I’m just wondering if maybe we take conformity to university life too far sometimes. Food for thought.

Posted by Anonymous at 5:56 AM

Picture an exotic mix of different languages, an array of different skin colours, a diversity of political views, and a multiplicity of races topped by a mix of sexual preferences. That is Rhodes University, if one takes a moment and ignores the drinking and partying.
Diversity is one of the things I love about this place. Especially since I have this love for learning languages. At the moment I can only speak six and I am working on the seventh one. But I am not writing about my linguistical capabilities. Diversity is good in many ways. The other day I booked halaal for my meals. It was a bit spicy but tasty. Being a connoisseur of food, I gave a toast to diversity. It gives one a chance to eat various kinds of food. I also tried umphokoqo, a Xhosa meal. Not bad at all.
Before I came to Rhodes, I had never met a gay person before. But when I did, I was in for a surprise. I discovered that sexuality does not make a person different from any other. We are all the same whether we are gay, transsexual or homosexual. The Rhodes cultural mix taught me acceptance. I can relate easily to people of all hues of skin colour. When I finish my degree, I will have gained a lot that is not necessarily academic.
Of course, I would have done nothing if I don’t dwell on my favourite topic. Women. Make no mistake, it’s my favourite topic for innocent reasons. Not that I have to explain anything. They are one of the reasons why I propose a toast to diversity. I mean, where can one encounter such a mix of beauty? I’ve been enchanted by Indian beauties with the silkiest, most beautiful dark hair. African beauties with the kind of hips that I’ll reserve a description for another post. Caucasian lovelies with the kind of beauty that is the stuff of dreams. Coloured girls who are so wonderful you’d think they belonged in another world. The list is endless. All I can say is, this is one of the products of diversity. If this isn’t paradise, then I don’t know what is. I’m hopefully not being blasphemous.
To embrace diversity is one of the biggest favours we can do to ourselves. It is good for our enhancement as people. Luckily for Rhodents, diversity is not on our doorstep but in our midst. Let’s embrace it.

Posted by Anonymous at 5:56 AM

I came, I saw and I blogged
Armed with my high school credentials I began my journey
A bunch of certificates became my passport
Several alphabetical symbols served to rate my IQ
The registrar and deans of faculties pored over my documents
After much consideration they saw it fit to accept me
And so I came
I came, I saw and I blogged
I duly registered and was now indeed a first year
They had told me that this place was the best of the rest
I went to lectures, some inspiring and some boring
I attended tutorials and supplementary instruction
I heard of that most dreaded of all punishments
The withdrawal of one’s DP
I went to clubs and joined societies
Joined the gym and became part of the early morning joggers
I saw the clubs and heard of the weekend parties
The orgies of drinking and other vices
I saw the girls, some good and some bad
Heard of stable relationships and one night stands
I heard about things and also saw them
And so I saw
I came, I saw and I blogged
I thought of the things I have seen since I came
And so I blogged

Posted by Anonymous at 5:54 AM

Bliss

The other day was a marvellous invention, Heritage Day, whereby we could all park easy in between a mighty hectic week. For me, it was a day I will truly look back on with feelings of nostalgia, contentment and a goofy grin. My friends are habitual faffers (people who get ready slowly to the point where your nerves shred into small bits) so we only left for our intended destination of Kenton-On-Sea at about twelve. I just love that name…so quaint!Anyway, we were driving along with DJ Fresh’s ultimate mix for company and some Stuyvesant when we nearly ran over a tortoise. My one friend keeps calling it a turtle and I don’t think she will ever find out the difference. Screams of “save him, save him!’ quickly filled the car and an impromptu and highly dangerous U-turn was administered.I felt extremely environmental, nature-girl and one-with-the-earth (major laugh fit to those that know me) as I picked up the extremely heavy tortoise and put him in the bush. I suggest one day you pick one up instead of using weights at the gym. Unfortunately he was not happy with being transferred from the jol he was having on the road and hissed at me or that’s what I heard.The rest of the day continued smoothly and deliciously. We had a massive seafood, pizza and steak lunch on the deck and tried our luck on the beach where we had a dead sea-sponge fight. I know that people go on about how university is the best time of our lives but at least they know what they’re talking about.

Labels: , , , , ,

Posted by opinionplease at 3:23 AM

Perils of a Rookie

Have you ever noticed that after University your mortification barometer gets dangerously high? And not in a yay-lets-celebrate kind of way. I am talking about moments that make you squirm like a worm. It seems that the possibilities for complete embarrassment are endless. What is to blame? Karma (which is a hippy’s favourite reason)? The good old universe? Negative. It is you; the first year. Embarrassment here is caused by what seasoned and crusty Rhodents like to call “rookie errors.”Now for an example. Flashback to the first term. A mate of mine was sitting next to me while we were furiously writing our paragraphs for the next English tut. We were just adding the references when I asked if how one could write a heading of a book in italics when we were writing it out. She said, “Oh, I just write it slanty.” Fair enough. So I followed suit feeling like a twit for asking.After a few weeks of my slanty writing, another second year friend saw what I was up to. “What are you doing?” she said, one vein jutting out at me.I told her about the slanty/italics story. She shook her head sadly. Then laughed for ten minutes until she explained that there was no such thing and the action to take in this case was to underline the heading. I felt like an idiot after being told I was “gun average” (read: first year blunder). Even so, one learns to consult second years to avoid this type of labelling and if all else fails; at least first year is almost over. Soon you will have your own rookies to mentor. That should be a laugh.

Labels: , , , , ,

Posted by opinionplease at 2:50 AM

Get Drunk On the Experience!

My dear younger, inexperienced self,

I know you dream of a day where you will experience freedom beyond the confines of your home and the entrapment of your parents’ rules. You will experience this and so much more one day when you are ready. That place will be Rhodes University, far from your neighbourhood in Durban.
This sounds enticing and I can tell you are already drunk with the feverish delight of promised free will. I want to offer you words of loving advice that will hopefully be put to use. University is a wonderful place to come into your own. There will be new experiences, opinions to explore and whole lot of dead guys you will have to study. There will be clubs, alcohol in various colours and mixtures and new faces that will become your friends. The campus is beautiful, tree-lined and always buzzing.
You will tumble head over heels into Oz, my dear Dorothy. I want you to know that you will detest everything on sight and want to run to the nearest bus stop to head home. You didn’t imagine you would feel like such a small fish in a huge ocean. You feel as of university would have been better back home, where everyone and everything is familiar to you. At first, Rhodes is hard and you feel as though you stick out like a Pink Floyd fan at a Rihanna concert. I want to tell you that even though every molecule in your body is telling you it’s not okay that it is, in fact, okay. You are completely normal. And even if you aren’t, what’s so great about being normal?
Just breathe and be yourself. Everyone is as scared and out-of-place as you. Remember what Dad told you: “shyness is a waste of time.” Shyness will rob people of the privilege it is to know who you really are. I am very proud that you have made it this far and will always be.
With love
Your Rhodent future self.

Labels: , , , ,

Posted by opinionplease at 12:49 AM

Monday, September 29, 2008

Ever turned a guy gay?

Well it isn’t really nice to say turned a guy gay because that does nothing for a girl’s ego. Or her pride rather, my bad, I forgot girl’s don’t have egos – we leave those for the guys. So my friend (she’s appeared in two blogs so far and this is her third so I think she deserves a name - a pseudonym at least) let’s just call her shell. So Shell has this friend come friend with benefits and now the guy she cannot stand, for lack of a better euphemism. This charming gentlemen and Shell have been friends from the beginning of the year. They then hooked up a couple of times, changed hook-ups, got back together and then it got to a point where everyone thought that they were a couple, except they weren’t. And now apparently he’s gay, this coming from the lovely grapevine that Rhodes has going. Anyway, I doubt she turned him gay, actually I know that this is impossible but it still hurts a girl’s pride. We have come to the conclusion that she was just his cover-up because he has yet to come out the closet. I haven’t had this happen to me yet but I’m starting to wonder about some guys I’ve been with. It really is a horrible thought; I don’t think my pride could handle it.

Labels: ,

Posted by Tough LOve at 9:41 AM

Rivals from res...

Ever climbed into a cab, taxi or aeroplane and found that for today and today only you are in luck? You find yourself sitting next to the hot person you saw on the plane or in line? Well this happened to my friend. Except in her experience it wasn’t awkward and they chatted the whole way back to Rhodes. He didn’t ask for her number but they had planned to see each other out later that night. So she was all excited about this hot guy but with the added bonus that he was nice even though he is from a res that is not so nice. So that night she goes out looking all hot and totally ready to see this hot guy. Well she did see him except unfortunately one of our fellow res mates was plonked on his lap! Now this would suck if it were your friend but when it’s a rival from res it really does hurt. Then to go add salt to the wound at lunch the following day while at the table the topic turns to this other girl’s new man. Not cool. Seen as the others were unaware of the situation it was just horrible to sit and watch my friend trying to keep control over her emotions, her bitter ones!

Labels: , ,

Posted by Tough LOve at 9:29 AM

Pot scratching....?

So here goes my friends story (I have full permission to write it). Well about two weeks after O-week she met this wonderful guy and they had this thing going, they weren't exactly dating more like just lovers. Anyway so things ended quite badly. Very badly actually. To make the intro shorter he now has a blonde, beauiful (according to my friend not to me) and very thin girlfriend. My friend has been avoiding him very successsfully, and hasn't spoken to him, drunken-night called him or anything and suddenly she gets a sms from him at 22:30 on Saturday night basically saying, "how you? we haven't chatted in a while etc". So now if we are following the advice that I received, they cannot be friends as they weren't friends before they were lovers. Also he has a new girlfriend now so what is he trying to do??? She was very well-behaved and never replied but this just gets funnier, today at lunch time in our dining hall, guess who arrived to lunch? The lovely little lady herself, all thin, blonde and well beautiful according to some. She has never been to lunch in our dining hall before and she's in digs so what was she doing in our dining hall. But this reminded me of a warning I received from some senior girls when I arrived at Rhodes. We were chatting about this hot guy and I was promptly reminded that he had a girlfriend and I was not to go scratching in someone else's pot. I was just like, "I'm not a home-wrecker, I'm above cheating" (but I still hold opinions that if you're dating, you're not married, but thats another story). Anyway so I'm not quite sure if it was just coincidence that this girl arrived at our dining hall today or whether it was a warning to my friend but whatever her presence was noted! And in the chance that she reads this my friend is not a "pot scratcher" it's your boyfriend who has the issues so go have lunch with him!

Labels: , ,

Posted by Tough LOve at 8:46 AM

Sunday, September 28, 2008

For the love of Drama!

While walking around the drama department this morning I was reminded that last night was the final performance of the Masters contemporary pieces wish I desperately wanted to watch but of course I was supposed to have prior engagements. This just made me angry all over again. In all fairness though I actually only wanted to watch the one piece. I had been warned about the bleeding mermaid. "They weigh you as you go in?" my friend was explaining. I'm sorry what? If I go to watch a piece of theatre I don't want my weight to be written on a piece of paper and attached to my clothing for all the other theatre goers to see. But I could actually get over this minor detail. However, when she continued to explain the piece I had made up my mind that under no circumstances would I go watch a piece in which the actress draws her own blood on stage, I mean thats so Angelina. I'm not squeamish around blood but it's a little weird. The final reason for my decision was that I could not bear to see my tutor naked on the stage for the duration of the performance, now that is really just too freaky for me. But I wanted to see the other piece. I mean if just by seeing a set you can be inspired to go watch a performance, this was the one. A trampoline on the left of the stage and a bunk bed on the right with other chairs and tables in between and all painted in green, blue and yellow. Now I know thats not really a great description but it was beautiful. However, I wanted to see how the actor was going to move from the trampoline to the bed. According to my friend, "It is the best piece of theatre that you will see in a long time". Well I guess the one advantage of missing the show is that now I won't have such a high standard for the next show that I do go and see. But I'm still bleak and transfering my anger again! I'm getting quite good at this.

Labels: , , ,

Posted by Tough LOve at 1:29 AM

Saturday, September 27, 2008

How does a bitter person write beautiful french?

So I’m supposed to be writing my French essay but it’s very difficult to create a beautiful piece of writing in the language of love when you are bitter, no not bitter, just pissed off. The reason for this anger is the very mature third year student, yes the one that puppy-trained me. I received an email requesting a time that he could come over for coffee and a chat (this is the fourth such request and none of the others happened) – but we are supposed to be playing the “lets be friends” card. Well I say 7pm because I know that after the visit I need to write my French essay. Now at dinner in a conversation with some res friends I am asked whether we were friends before we started dating. The answer is “no”. A chorus of warning travels my way that in this case being friends will not work. You see I’m quite a competitive person so in my mind I was like well that’s just you guys, I can accomplish this. I mean who has too many friends? Well that’s my thinking but then again quality is also better than quantity. So he never pitched and hasn’t smsed a explanation so I’m not quite sure what the hell is going on in his head and I just deleted his number because I feel like phoning him and giving him some training in politeness but I can hear Greg (the author of He’s just not that into you) explaining that he has a mother to shout at him. I know this is true but I wish his mother could start doing her job. Now I’m hating on a woman that doesn’t even live in the same country as me and that I’ve never met but I guess transference of anger is good. Well at least for my pride.

Labels: , ,

Posted by Tough LOve at 12:31 PM

Friday, September 26, 2008

molo mfo wethu

Lukhanyo Luzipho – 608l3374
JMS 1 – Blogging
Assignment – writing a blogg letter
Words : 415

Molo mfo wethu (hello my brother)
So you want to spend you tertiary education at Rhodes, I see? Now where I should start? By congratulating you for making the worst decision of your life? Well, it may be one of the best should you pass and graduate with a degree from one of the world’s renown universities, but throughout the process of being here it will surely feel like you didn’t know what you were thinking when you decided on coming. Now hey, I’m not trying to burst you bobble or anything, but since I know you for being an admirer of honesty, this is just the thing I want to offer you. Just as Rhodes’s logo “where leaders learn” suggests, for you to have an all-round successful first year you’ll have to take a lead over many aspects of varsity life, but at least regarding your academics, here’s how…
With regards to choosing a degree, choose anything you want, really. They’re all equally difficult. Nothing is simpler than the other. Nope. No easy way out unfortunately. You find the same B.Com. student drooling over the same failed test as that of a B.A. student, law student, pharmacy or whatever. My best advice is choosing something that at least closely resembles what you want, because even when times hit harder than the dollar to the rand, you’ll have the willpower to persevere. If you want accounting, count , if its Fine Arts then paint till your first name changes to Plascon. That’s it man!
Being the open-minded person you are, I’d fancy you do a degree under the Humanities Faculty. The subjects they offer are the kind that’ll broaden your perspectives of the world and life generally in very remarkable ways. It’s very interesting indeed. Also, start watching every news broadcast on television without forgetting the latest stock market updates (yes, even if you’re majoring in ethnomusicology), and read newspapers and news related magazines as if your second breath depended on it. Trust me, journalism and media studies won’t be the only course requiring you to be current. Start practising essay writing today, because it will involuntarily become one of your favourite hobbies.
There’s much more, but one of the things you’ll probably learn is that too much time spent doing something means that you should be doing something else that’s important, so therefore I cannot spend the whole night writing you this letter. Having said that, welcome to Rhodes, and I dare you to become the leader that (actually) learns!

Yours truly,
Lukhanyo.

Labels:

Posted by opinionplease at 6:42 AM

Dear Gift
I hope you are fine, along with that bull terrier of yours. He is one mean customer for sure. I bet the excitement of approaching first year is all over you. That is only too normal.
I have to tell you about an aspect of first year life that you will undoubtedly face, that is, the issue of love. My friend, the ladies over here are something else. I have never seen angels but I bet they look like most of these girls . And being the romantic that you are, it will be easy for you to fall for one of these lovely girls. But unfortunately, the issue of romance here is not all about fairytale, stuff.
Seeing that you love stories, let me tell you one about myself. When I arrived at Rhodes, I met a girl who stole my heart. She was so beautiful I thought she was an illusio. She had a face to die for and a body to kill for with all the right proportions in the right positions. Swinging hips that reminded me of the rhythm of Africa. She made me think of roses and romance, romantic ballads and love poems. I could not believe it when she accepted my proposal.
But I discovered that beauty maketh not the lady. Pal, you are ware that like you, I am a teetotaller and I do not go to the clubbing scene. Well, I discovered that she loved spending weekends partying in clubs accompanied by a very disconcerting number of alcoholic beverages. Not to mention the enormous dent she was inflicting on my pocket by demanding to be spoiled and taken out at least twice a week. You know that in our country, abstinence is emphasised over the condom in sexual matters. Well, she began to pressure me to deliver the goods. My refusal to cooperate spelt the end of the relationship.
So my advice to you is be careful in this game of love. At university it’s a totally different ball game. Your financial muscle counts and in most cases, you have to deliver the goods. Keep the lady, eh, satisfied in physical matters. And be prepared to match her in terms of drinking alcohol because this place is an alcoholic paradise of sorts. My point is that you should not be blinded by beauty lest you are hurt. I know that you are a person who is really commited. Most of the girls want to just have fun and move on.
Well, you will see all this when you arrive. You would rather wait until you find a lady with a character that you feel comfortable with. I hope you won’t be carried away by these lovely girls. You will really enjoy yourself as long as you don’t do anything silly. After all, romance makes the world go round. Hope to see you here soon.

Your caring buddy
Gift Senior

Posted by Anonymous at 6:31 AM

Younger me

Here goes…

When it happens you will believe that you were helpless to stop it. When it happens you will reason it and dissect it, discussing every phone call and every text. When it happens you will cry and be angry and scared and silently, almost perversely, satisfied. When you do it you will realise that it is wrong, but you will do it anyway. You will break his heart, you will realise that your heart was broken too and you will lose your best friend.

Nothing will be simple. You will kiss the boy with the blond hair and blue eyes and mysterious past. You will think about the boy at home, the one with the soft curls, the gentle eyes, and the vulnerable, desperate heart. You will ask friends and sisters and your mother what you should do. You’ll say that you love him and you never meant to hurt him and that you’re sure it is better this way. You will say this but never believe it.

When you realise that you’ve lost him - the boy with the soft, brown, curls- you will cry. But you will also grow.

The boy with the blond hair and blue eyes and mysterious past will become your new best friend. He will show you things and make you feel things that you will savour forever.

University will be full of things like this - heartbreaks, fights, tears, laughter- but you will discover and learn and get better with time. Nothing is simple; you will remember your young and innocent days but you will relish in the challenges and experiences your new world will reveal.

“It will teach you to love what you are afraid of after it takes away all that you learned to love, it will defeat you and then teach you how to get back up …” Jack Johnson.

Yours, with love.

Labels:

Posted by opinionplease at 5:50 AM

Dear Precious One,
I can just see you counting the days until you begin your journey with Rhodes. You are going to be so excited when you receive the acceptance letter from Rhodes University. You don’t know it now, but your exact words are going to be: “God, my Creator, is surely on my side”. I am proud of you little one. Oops, I should stop calling you that as you aren’t so little anymore. You are a young woman now, ready to be taught how to breathe life into the seed centred in your heart.
If you thought matric was hard, you are going to dread the first few weeks of university. Remember that day; you went into the bathroom to cry because the Maths paper was a TKO? (Technical Knock Out) Well, my beautiful young self, you will be experiencing many more of such days when you enter the world of long walks, tuts, essays and lectures aka Rhodes University. For most, salvation is presented in the form of a beer or tequila at the end of the day at Union aka Stevie’s but for you my dear non-drinking self; relief will have to be found in your singing as a member of Voices of Glory. A family of believers like yourself who find strength and serenity through praising God Almighty.
Rhodes, Rhodes, Rhodes...It’s beautiful. It will welcome you with open arms and make you its own. It will even give you an identity card indicating that you belong to a select few who fall under its wing. It will provide you with an endless flight of stairs, a stage to showcase your talent give you guidance on how to make it to the next step. However, little one, just as gold has to undergo fire to shine; so you will be put under an extreme amount of heat before you emerge the shining star that you are. The fire will not be easy to go through; there will be endless nights where you cry yourself to sleep and nights where you feel sleep is inconsequential as it will not assist you in your goal of surviving the flames of varsity. The result of this is that you will feel rejected and stupid but don’t as this is only part of the process we all under go as we become refined intellectuals.
Precious, regardless of the tough circumstances you are going to have to face, never doubt the success God has destined for you. When you begin to question your role amongst both your peers and the world, recall what uMama used to say to you: “ Laku khona wena, kubonakhala ngombala (wherever you’ve passed, you always leave a trace that shows you were once there).” Although, at the time uMama did not mean it in a positive sense; it is true that you are fated to leave a mark in this world as long as you reject the strong pressure to conform and become one of the many goalless, material orientated masses. Shine, little one shine. You have come this far and have made me proud. Allow Rhodes to be the cloth you will use to polish yourself and emerge the shining star you are.
Yours in wisdom,
Precious Lungile Fatyela

Posted by opinionplease at 4:50 AM

What I wish someone had written me.

Dear innocent friend

Welcome to university, yes the one you dreamed about. It’s beautiful and everyone appears so friendly but remember it’s only the exterior.

Arriving ‘single’ to university may make you feel that it is the perfect time to find a boyfriend who studies at your university to avoid the long distance thing. House Comm will tell you not to hook up with someone in your dining hall – Live this advice – it is awkward! Another trend among the Rhode’s senior guys is seal clubbing. This is when older guys take advantage of young innocent first-years. Avoid getting drunk and ignore lame pick-up lines and you won’t be clubbed.

You may think this through more clearly and decide that a third year guy will probably be best. Yes, this will ensure that he is mature and because he will have his own busy schedule what with work and commitments that you will still have plenty of time to make friends, go out and manage to pass your first year at varsity. This is a lie and don’t believe it for a second. What everyone fails to warn you against and what you most desperately need to avoid is getting puppy-trained. Puppy-training is a little game that senior guys love to play. You are the puppy while they get to play puppy-trainer. The fact that puppies want to play at night while their owner wants to sleep can make the puppy-trainer not love the puupy anymore and it gets abandoned.

So when choosing your first boyfriend at university avoid third years because you are NOT a puppy. Also you will get warned against guys from Smuts but the silent bastards are worse. If a guy is so involved in his res’ sports team, stop talking and keep walking. There is only one thing worse than coming second to his work – it’s coming second to his res.

So go out there and warn all the guys that they shouldn’t play games with bitches who know how to play them better.

Yours in avoiding getting your heart broken

Tough LOve

Labels: , ,

Posted by Tough LOve at 3:46 AM