Friday, October 17, 2008
Opinion piece: It’s better to stay with your own kind when choosing a date.
Dating is a fickle game. It has its highs and lows, its ups and downs. It can be an enlightening experience. It can also be traumatic experience. But nevertheless, I believe it’s an experience worth sampling. I vehemently oppose the notion that it’s better to stay with your own kind when choosing a date.
Let’s face it. We are in an environment that has people from various racial and ethnic backgrounds. They are all interesting in their individual way. The thing is, it does not matter what brace your partner is. What really matters is what kind of person they are. If you find that a person from a different racial group has a personality that you like, then nothing should stop you from going for her or him. What maters is the heart. I believe that if two people like each other, they can overcome any hurdles in terms of racial differences. Besides, we are really not that much different as people. Underneath our skins, we are all human. That is a basic fact. If we are all human, it means we all have similar feelings in terms of romance. If I can date an African girl, then I can also date a European girl. Likewise for any other race. They are all human, and I can date them. There is no point in limiting yourself strictly to your own kind. When choosing a date, stick with what your heart tells you.
Personally, I like women. As long as a lady meets my standards, race does not matter. It is said that variety is the spice of life. That is a statement which I strongly believe in. Back home, I interact with my own kind. Then I come here choose to strictly interact with my own kind ? Certainly not. The point it’s fine to choose to date one of your kind. But it is not proper to rule out the possibility of dating across the racial spectrum. To me, it sounds like racism, discrimination of a person on the basis of their colour. While dating is a matter of personal choice, I believe it smacks of racism for one to say that they would never choose to date anyone different from them. It is a case of failing to accommodate people from different races. University is a place of diverse people. If we can live alongside each other as different races, then surely there can be dating across the racial spectrum.
Also, choosing someone from a different race is good, because it helps you learn about other cultures, which you might necessarily not have learnt about. What better way to learn about the Indian culture than dating an Indian girl? One gets exposed to other ways of life and thinking, which is an important factor of the university experience. It helps you to grow as a person. A person who is comfortable with people of any kind has a great advantage because the world is a global village, whereby one has to interact with people from various backgrounds. And dating someone from a different race and background is a good way of learning to associate with different people.
Of course, dating someone of a different kind, especially in terms of race, would present problems. This could include being shunned by your own kind, or even one of the partners being racially taunted. But I believe if you love someone, all this is worth it. We are here at Rhodes to undertake new experiences and challenges. To grow as individuals and learn the importance of tolerance. If I fancy one of those Indian ladies with their silky dark hair, it is fine. Or the Europeans with their blue, green, brown and other eye colours so be it. Or the Africans with their curves. If one feels that they would rather stick to their own kind, so be it. I feel that it smacks of intolerance and racism though. As for me, I say there is no problem in deviating from your own kind when dating. After all, variety is the spice of life.
Posted by Anonymous at 12:51 PM